Ugly Words Made Beautiful

Transformation. Obedience. When I think of those words, I have an intrinsic negative reaction. My body tenses, I clench my teeth, my eyes narrow. It's not until I hear, "What's wrong, you're making a face," that I realize it. As this year comes to an end I realize those words have followed me all year, whether with my kids, my friends or myself. No one likes to obey. No one likes to be transformed. It means change. Who likes that? I realize that I have been fighting God all year long. I tried holding onto things that He was whispering to give up. I kept thinking I was hearing Him tell me things in the words others spoke, not realizing it put me farther and farther away from Him. I was disobeying. I didn't give up Thai lessons when He said to. I kept going. I'll give it up when I finish module one. I'm not a quitter. I'll be a failure if I don't do well. I won't be able to communicate and help my family. Other people will judge. On and on the excuses. I realize this is Satan's way of getting you to disobey. He's so cunning. He's manipulative, beautiful, easy, and full of answers to get you on his side. It's only in learning to stop that I realize who I was following. In my Women's group we're learning how to walk with God. In the book, Walking With God John Eldredge talks about how he not only asks God about EVERYTHING, but he listens. And then he doesn't stop there. He asks more questions. As I learn to do this I am learning how to hear God. It's hard. It's not easy. John points out that sometimes we don't want to ask God what His will is because then it would come down to whether we obey or not. What I've found is that when you do bend your will to God's, another ugly word comes along. Transformation. It sounds ugly and sometimes even looks ugly. It's hard. It brings tears. It bring heartache. It also brings faith, love, joy, tender moments, growth, happiness, blessings and so many more things than we could ever imagine. I've seen it in my friends, whose daughter just left for college while they've decided to move to another country and start over again. I've seen it in another neighbor whose first born will move to middle school next year as she gives birth to her fourth child. I see it in several friends who are sick and having to lean on pure faith and not their own understanding. I see it in my friend who is awaiting not one, but TWO of her children to come home from college in two weeks. And I see it in my husband who has played basketball his entire life and was told he can no longer play because he needs a hip replacement at 44years. I've seen newlyweds, people lose their jobs, people change jobs, lose friends, get left out etc. And yet, it all brings about this wonderful transformation that is all part of God's plan. He never said I'll give you roses and unicorns and rainbows. Sometimes he gives you lemons. Sometimes you have to make those lemons into lemonade, and when that doesn't work, a margarita. It has been a hard year, but it has also been a fun year. I've learned that sometimes to reach the beautiful results of transformation, you HAVE to obey. So, grab your lemonade and for some, your margaritas and let's see where God's plan for us leads!