Forgiveness

When I'm getting ready is when I talk to Jesus the most. This morning, the questions on forgiveness, grace and mercy are still there. Something happened one day, long ago that still makes me wonder. I was working at an elementary school as a teacher's aid and my teacher and I were discussing my infertility and our decision to adopt. She pointed out another teacher's aid and said, "that girl, over there? If she can have children anyone can. She was awful in high school and if God can bless her you don't have anything to worry about." This woman had no idea that what I did in high school and college probably made this girl look like a saint. I coldly told her that if we were all judged on what we did in high school that we'd all already be in hell. I was floored, and granted, my response could have been more gentle, but as we all know, gentleness is not my strong point. This leads me to the question, what DO I believe about forgiveness, grace and mercy? I saw this thing on Pinterest, that says: Grace is when you get the good things you don't deserve mercy is when you're spared from the bad things you do deserve God is generous with both. Wow. What an awesome thing to behold. Ponder. So let's start with Mercy. I believe that God has given me serious consequences for some things. I do, seriously believe that He loves me, wants the best for me and wants to bless me so much. But like every good father, He knows that if I don't get correction, that I'll never learn and that I have to depend on Him at ALL times. He is merciful. If I was punished for every sin, every bad thought that led me to gossip, every covetous, lustful or hateful and angry thing that led me to sin, I would've given up long ago. My life isn't always full of fun, laughter and dripping with glittery awesomeness. Matter of fact it is often hard, sad, disappointing. But looking at what mercy God has chosen to show me leads me to think about His grace. I have so many things to be thankful for. I'm thankful God has chosen to be merciful, to grace me with so many blessings and the faith to know that when my life is a disappointment, or things don't go my way, that maybe He has something far more wonderful in store for me. One of the best things I ever learned to do was journal every day. I can look back to 2007 and go through page after page of things that didn't go my way, but went God's way and was so much more fulfilling. I can look back to answered prayers and to unanswered prayers. To struggles I have gone through to lead me closer to Christ. Those pages are filled with evidence of His love, mercy and grace. So what do you believe? Are you still walking around filled with shame or pointing fingers and holding others' past sin over their heads? Or do you practice living in the freedom He's granted us by grace and mercy?

Looking Back

Wow. I just realized it has been one month today that we were waiting at the airport with all our belongings, two kids, two dogs and some faithful friends who loved us through the whole shebang. Sitting here, I am AMAZED at all that has happened in two months. Really, 6 weeks ago my sweet Gypsy was looking for jobs in the U.S.A. so we could come back and get our bird some help. He applied to everything in the free world and then we prayed for ONE ANSWER! And of course, as faithful and fun as God is, He completely surprised us with that one answer. I'm flashing back over 7 years ago when I said I'd never move to Thailand and that is EXACTLY where He sent us when I realize Dr. Chris Wolski said he'd never teach middle school. Guess where he is? Guess what he loves? I'm telling you, God can use everything for His good purpose. Here we are in Atlanta and now that we have had time to breathe, I realize so many things that came out of this awful time has really made my faith stronger and has allowed me to see God's hand in it all. The most amazing things I am focusing on is that I have friends who came over and cleaned, bought, priced and sold everything I owned in two weeks. I had friends who came and made pricing lists, cleaned, rolled all four of our clothes and prayed and cried with me. I had friends make meals and bring them or invite us to their homes so we could take a break. We had friends take us to the airport and wait for us to be denied flight because of improper paperwork and then do it all again the next night. I'm telling you, saying goodbye to that community was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But boy did it teach me what love is. Coming here was so scary, and I can't tell you how many times I've bowed and wai'd the Walmart greeters or hostess at the restaurant and how hard it is to drive again after riding in a taxi on the "wrong side" of the road. Starting all over again after doing it 2 1/2 years ago was even more nerve wracking but it showed me how far the Gypsy and I've come in our faith that we'd just trust in Him to make it all happen. Thanks to yet more amazing friends and family on this side of the world, we now have an apartment, furniture and a car. I mean, it's so weird to know how loved and how much people really do care. I think before all of this I would never have even noticed, been able to accept or even think of leaning on friends or family for all we've had to. God is amazing. He really is faithful and my faith has grown tenfold over this experience. Yet as you all know, it hasn't been perfect. We haven't gotten everything we want, and we've had some pretty rough patches in the month that we've been back. But to all those who've helped, offered to help and will help in the future, thank you. Thank you for showing us that there can be community here in America. There can be people who reach out and that we aren't as alone as we thought we'd be. Praise God for all the blessings He's bestowed and for those who've made our transition back to America a good one. He's blessed us with you all and hopefully, the Gypsy and I will be able to bless someone in return.