Thursday, July 31, 2014

My Apologies Please

I'm sitting here quietly while my son is taking a bath and my daughter is slaving away at open house with my Gypsy, cleaning and running errands just so she can get some daddy time. I'm so overwhelmed, as many of us are right before school starts. In between thinking about where money for school clothes and shoes will come from, our 18 year anniversary (yeah baby and man we're old), and my baby girl's 17th birthday, I sit here trying to contemplate this nagging in my heart. See, I used to be a parapro for special needs, and I used to be one of those snarky people who used to judge others. I admit it. I confess. I used to wonder why in the world they-those moms- wanted school to hurry up and start, or why in the world their child acted the way they did, and just why in the world did they look like they were at the end of their rope? I mean, I would give anything (at that time, way back when) to have a child and couldn't they see they were lucky? As providence would have it, I became one of those mothers. I am now the mother who, although, loves her kids, CANNOT WAIT FOR SCHOOL TO START!!! I love my birds, I do. But we've had a rough year, and summer. We have gone through an expulsion, worldwide move, a suicide attempt, a teen pregnancy attempt, two moves in 6 months, two new jobs and a partridge in a pear tree. We've also gone through many blessings, heartaches and laughing/tears moments. We are ALL ready for forgiveness, grace and mercy, not only from God, our awesome, heavenly father, but from each other. So as I sit here, contemplating all that we've gone through, it pains me to remember that judgmental, naive woman I was, who had no clue that there are mothers out there doing the best they can and that they absolutely need that break and more importantly, instead of my snarky comments and judgment, they needed a hug, an "I got ya girlfriend" or you know what, he/she is not doing so bad and you are a great mom, even though you don't feel like it. That's what they need. So, as I sit here, looking at this stupid crystal gel nail that won't come off even with industrial strength acetone, I have to say I'm sorry. I am humbled and hope that I have grown in heart and spirit enough to know that I was wrong, and pray that if I ever made anyone feel judged, they find it in their hearts to forgive. I hope and pray that so many moms out there get the rest they need. I pray my teacher friends, my teacher moms and dads, all have a blessed year, cooperative parents, and that God blesses each and every one of you.