Friday, January 9, 2015

My Cartoon Life

I was so sad to see my friends off to Thailand this morning, but filled with gratitude to be able to continue our friendship this side of the world. Some of the most Godly, Christ filled people we've ever met and such an inspiration to our whole family. That being said, I came straight home after dropping them off at the airport and slept for around two hours. When I woke up I thought to myself how cold I was (Thailand boil your face off heat has not left my bones yet). I was already dressed in fancy fleece lined leggings for fat ladies and a long shirt. Instead of my cute, fabulous Ugg boots I got for a whopping 14 bucks at the Goodwill house, I quickly threw on my tennis shoes and my B&E robber mask to walk the dogs. Picture how fabulous this is on a larger than life lady. I kept wondering why people were slowing down to look at me. Anyway, we finally got home and my bird was waiting outside for me. He had earned going to the game with the Gypsy and was super excited. So, instead of doing the RIGHT thing and changing into proper clothes, I said, "LET'S GO!" It is very rare this bird earns fun things so I was super excited for him. I didn't even think twice. So, on the way home, I decide I want pesto and cream cheese grilled cheese sandwiches and we need bread. HHHmmmm, forgetting what I have on, I run into Big Lots and quickly get bread. Then, in my excitement of having a night by myself, I decided to get a chocolate bar with hazelnuts. Yes, the fat lady was indulging. So, as I'm putting my bread on the counter to check out, I see the candy bars are on sale! I lean over to get one and THEY ALL FALL OFF THE SHELF!!!!!!!!!!!! So now, I'm on the floor, trying to pick them all up and they keep falling. I look up because now I've wallered (the country version of wallowed) all over the floor in Big Lots wrestling with a bunch of candy bars and find the check out lady laughing. I'm not talking about a giggle, smirk or just a chuckle. She was full out laughing so hard no sound was coming out. I finally pull myself up from the floor using my buggy and tell her, "now that I just got my exercise in I am DEFINITELY buying a candy bar!" So, there's no moral to this story. Maybe there should be, like, don't wear fat lady leggings with tennis shoes and maybe I shouldn't have bought that candy bar, but nope. Just wanted others to share in my ridiculous, hilarious, absurd life.