Although the list goes on and on and I am blessed beyond my deserve, I am homesick. The honeymoon was over long ago and just as I was getting adjusted to real life here in Bangkok, the holidays came zooming in on me like they want to smash me to smitherines. The first problem was when Chris and I argued over buying a turkey that costs $50. The second problem was when I found and bought the turkey of my dreams at half the price and came home to realize it will barely fit in my Charlie Brown oven. Then, on to the rest of the problems of cooking the side dishes and dessert and oh, I could have made some things on the stovetop, but I only have two burners. Not that I have four and only two will work, but I only have two!
I thought all our traditions were lost when my parents got divorced, but when we adopted the kids we decided to have the tradition of eating at my sister's house. Last year we set the oven on fire, and her firefighter husband had the fire out, all smoke sucked out of the house and the oven cleaned and ready for us to continue cooking in 30 minutes. It was crazy, but pretty darn awesome! And the turkey was fabulous! I am sad about not being with my family over the holidays. I know we are crazy, we are all fighters and nothing ever seems to go just as planned, but it's home. So, with all of these emotions swimming around in my head, and me trying to pretend I'm not sad--my friend and I went into a store and she said, "Look! They have Christmas ornaments!" and it hit me. I just stood there and my face started leaking. I don't know why at that moment it chose to hit me, but it did. I won't have porch time with my sister while the turkey is cooking, I won't get to shop Black Friday for my kids, and I miss the cold weather, colorful leaves falling off the tree, the fight over when to play Christmas music and that stupid movie, The Christmas Story (my dad always made me watch it growing up, and then when I married Chris, he too, made us watch it every year).
Living in a foreign country is hard. Being without family during the holidays is harder. I know we are giving our children a better life and exposing them to the TRUE meaning of following God's plan, but old habits are hard to break. I miss my family and friends, my church, and my people. But I am so thankful for the many blessings, grace and mercy that God gives me--even when I'm not so grateful. Thanksgiving in Thailand will be interesting, but I'm determined to make it fun. The face still leaks, but it also makes funny sounds called laughter. My turkey will surely have some difficulties, and something dramatic or drastic will occur, but one day it will be the funniest story to tell at one of our future feasts. And I am thankful for all the many blessings-past, present and future-that God has given me! Here's to my first Thanksgiving in Thailand......CHEERS!
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