Adventures Turned Upside Down

Some of you know there is something wrong and some of you know bits and pieces. Before I give all the guts of our situation I give a warning, it's brutally honest and not an ounce of pretty. Anyone who knows our family, knows we struggled with infertility and after fostering, adopted our children in 2009. We've had our baby birds for almost 6 years and I can't even imagine what our life was like without them. It has been so hard, emotional, gut wrenching, disappointments galore, frustrations abound, and yet it has also been silly, fun, inspiring, passionate, and more than a bit on the ridiculous. The Gypsy and I have learned so much about life and love and perseverance in these five and a half years. Nothing about our lives have ever been "normal." That being said, you all know we came to Thailand two and a half years ago for Chris to teach in an international Christian school and for us to work in the missions. Let me state, for the record, it is hard to live here, but the community is amazing, uplifting, supportive and have become family. We have an amazing student ministries lead by the most wonderful woman who loves kids and truly wants to see them grow spiritually. My birds have been exposed to so many wonderful things. They are international travelers, they've gone on service projects where they help serve slum kids and elderly who are living in poverty. They have helped at orphanages and bagged rice and fish for the people who lost their homes in the flood. They have traveled to some of the most beautiful beaches and have seen wild monkeys and exotic animals from the land of Thai. We've even ridden an elephant through the tropics. All the adventures and love we've poured into those birds and yet, it's come to this awful place. See, sometimes love isn't enough. When someone chooses not to heal from being broken, hurt and scarred, what do you do? We are left with this question and have no answer. My son has been expelled from school. There, I've said it. Some of you are rolling your eyes and saying I'm so dramatic, but the truth is, this means so much more for us than just him not going to school. It started last year around after Christmas. Defiance, rude behaviors, door slamming, eye rolling.....you know, normal teenager behavior. Then, in May, it took a turn for the worst. He became physically threatening and would act like he was going to hit any one of us at any moment when told no or not getting his way. The summer came and we started with a new therapist and began intensive therapy three times a week and got a new psychiatrist with new medications. One summer night the violence escalated in the bathroom downstairs where the Gypsy contained him so he couldn't get to the kitchen and get knives, which he was threatening to do. After about an hour of trying to talk him down he was wrestled to the kitchen floor and prayed over, the only thing that allowed him to calm down and cry out his fight. Therapist came out to our house and we, as a family, made a new contract with this baby bird that told him which behaviors were consequence-able and which ones were call the police-able. He agreed with these consequences and it seemed to work for a while. When school started he had to be pulled from regular 7th grade classes and put in small group because he was constantly resisting and lying about doing homework, falling behind and having trouble. This seemed to take a lot of pressure off him and he was doing well in small group. He was also doing well enough to make the basketball team and take pride in being a part of things. We thought life was looking up. Even though the normal teenager like things were still happening, the violence and disrespect had gone. Then, the stealing started. Yes, please, allow me to remind you at this point that I already told you this was brutally honest and not pretty. At all. Not easy to read? Well, imagine me, mamma bird, typing this all out. No, not pretty. I won't go into all the details of the stealing, let's just say that it's bad. So bad he got expelled after paying back (well, us paying it back ) and apologizing and having another contract and breaking it over and over. Now, what shall we do? There is no juvenile detention in Thailand. Thai prison. Forever. So, if we stay here in Thailand, my son has no school to go to and will have no where to go. We've looked into boys' homes in the states but guess what? Missionaries don't have 60,000$ laying around for boys who get kicked out of school! Most homes require a lot of money and we just don't have it. We've looked into so many places that all require us to live in the U.S. Department of Family and Children Services won't help us because we don't live in the U.S. and quite frankly, to them we have been a successful adoption for five and a half years, so why would they help us? So, we are stuck my friends, between a rock and a hard place. As much as my child is loved, we have no idea what to do with him. No such thing as alternative school here. So, come two days from now my Gypsy and one bird will be going to school and the violent bird and I get to stay home. So, I will be saying no to a lot of projects, I will break commitments to people and I will be heavily burdened. So, when you see us, know we've been and are going through hell. We love our birds. Just love us, and keep judgments at home, or at least behind closed doors because quite frankly, I don't care. All I care about is my family, getting my birds help and lifting my Gypsy up as he's held me in all these months. And seriously, I know some of you may wonder if we are questioning our faith and the answer is, no. Our faith is so much stronger and I know that Holy Spirit has been with us through all of this. I mean, we are all alive, right? We're waiting on God's divine timing and His answer to our questions in all this. It's hard, but we're clinging to the hope we have in Jesus and bending our will to His. Prayers, we could use them. Help. If anyone knows of a boys' home or some type of agency that would be willing to work with missionaries who live over seas, please send us information. If anyone's church would like to support us, raise money or send letters and prayer. These are the things we need. Thanks to all my friends and family who have supported us through these hard times. We have certainly been blessed with wonderful friends who have walked this walk with us, an amazing school that has gone above and beyond to help our family, and friends all over the world praying. We feel the love.